Secret Weddings

Many couples are opting out of the traditional formal wedding or a public wedding of any type. Some want to avoid the expense, ritual and hype that surrounds most weddings, whether traditional or not. What many are preferring to do is have a secret wedding, which does not have to be an elopement.

One secret wedding can be a private affair with only a few people invited. After the private wedding, a reception or “announcement party” might be held with other friends and family members present. The party guests will not know anything about the wedding until the just-married couple makes an announcement when they arrive at the reception/party. Everyone can party hearty while celebrating the brand new marriage.

Another way to avoid all the stress and expense of a large wedding is to invite your guests to a party with a specific holiday theme or a large family gathering where the “entertainment” is the surprise wedding ceremony. The celebratory party can be casual and as simple as a backyard barbecue.

Secrets are difficult to keep, particularly with an excited group of your friends and family. Friends will whisper to other friends and in a short time your secret wedding will be common knowledge and complications will start to surface. Family members will start assuming you need help with common traditional practices, like where you are registered for gifts, suggestions for vendors, reception hall reservations and all the other things you are trying to avoid with your secret, simple wedding.

Your secret will be easier to keep if you integrate it into a party, where decorations and a party atmosphere would be expected and probably wouldn’t give your secret away until you were ready to tell your guests or actually get married as part of the party. The one problem you will have to consider is getting your guests to the party on time.

Many people are consistent late arrivals at parties and that could delay your marriage ceremony considerably. A simple solution is to mention the time for a meal to be served or the “arrival” of a special guest, anything that will create enough interest to get them to arrive on time. Some party givers with constantly late arrivals to all events, give them an earlier arrival time so they can still get there late and be on time.

If you want to get married and keep it totally secret that is your right. Nothing says that you have to make your marriage public or celebrate it publicly. If you and your intended are of legal age for marriage in your location, you don’t need to inform anyone about your marriage. Your church or registration office would need to know, of course. Your marriage is also public information and would be recorded somewhere, depending on where you live. Be aware that some churches read the marriage banns for several weeks during Sunday services, which would spoil the secrecy.

Celebrities have become quite adept at hiding their specific wedding details in their quest to marry in peace and quiet without the screaming paparazzi and circling helicopters. Some leak incorrect details sending the media horde off to a beach somewhere or another country entirely, while they get privately married locally in a friend’s house with a few guests.

Some notables who pulled of secret weddings are Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney, Kevin Costner, Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Julia Roberts and John F. Kennedy, Jr.

Just keep in mind that your wedding is just exactly that! Your wedding. Make your plans and have a great life with the man or woman of your dreams.