In the 1920s, your grandmothers probably adopted the short hairstyle that was named the “bob.” While the hairstyle was all the rage of the time, women wanted to offset the pixie appearance that presented a boyish look.

Many changed their boyish appearance with a cloche or cap veils that fitted over their foreheads and fell down the back of the head in graceful folds. Often the veil went all the way to the floor. These caps were usually made simply from silk tulle originally, but became more decorated over time with Brussels lace, ribbons and metallic charms.

Opera length gloves that extended over the bride’s elbows became the custom in the 1920s, as did huge bouquets decorated with knotted ribbons. Bridal jewelry was often a simple string of pearls. Bridal gowns were pretty sedate during this decade and were usually loose fitting in the chemise style.

The Roaring Twenties exploded the flamboyant headpiece popular with the flappers of the day. Not known for being fashionably sedate, flapper headpieces were created from velvet, or leaves painted gold and silver and were actually fancy wreaths. Natural materials were the preferred accent for the wreath headpieces.

The 1930s were full of glitter and glamour created by the screen sirens of that new attraction, the movies. Busty movie stars were not afraid to show their cleavage and flaunt their sexuality. This disreputable behavior carried over from the 1920s and, as most carryovers do, pushed the borders of decency past what the morality police could tolerate.

When the Hayes Code enforced their censorship, mainly focused on the cleavage, costume designers draped their movie stars in flowing fabrics and took the brassieres off their stars. Slinky was in and the public flocked to the movie theaters to soak up the screen glamour. Wedding gowns of the day sparkled with sequins and the black and white film was a perfect framework to build their glamour.

Wedding gowns reflected the fashions audiences saw on the silver screen. They hugged a woman’s body, showing her curves. Most gowns had long sleeves and fabric belts with large buckles, sometimes decorated with rhinestones that focused attention on the bride’s slender waist. Hair styles were soft with finger waves framing the bride’s face.

World War II, in the 1940s, brought in rationing, particularly for war effort materials. Rationing also restricted the clothing manufacturers and their normal abundance of cloth was decreased considerably.

Rayon became the darling of brides aware of silk rationing and the War effort. During WWII, silk was used for parachutes and cotton for military uniforms and duffle bags. The wedding gown of the 1940s also made use of a rayon satin material that highlighted the broad shoulders and slim waist that was the rage of that decade. Lace and other frills were often added to the yoke for extra decoration.

The hair style popular with women was the pompadour because it kept the hair away from her face and out of the way of the machinery if they worked in wartime factories.

The movie, “Gone With The Wind,” brought back silk gowns with sheer, puffy sleeves and hoop skirts. Slender hoops were sometimes worn under the bride’s gown to support the heavy material of the gown.

History definitely structured the wedding attire for brides in those volatile thirty years of change.

Choosing your Maid of Honor can create fireworks you never considered, particularly if you have a sister and choose your best friend and not your sister. Close relatives who have been in your life and consider you their best friend, like cousins, can also have a problem if you do not choose them.

If you have an older sister who isn’t married and all the family attention shifts to you and your future wedding, resentment is almost sure to rise and cause stress. You could be involved in soothing hurt feelings, resentments and unfair comparisons based on her unmarried status. Rivalry and subtle attempts to bring the attention around to her are common.

Wedding preparations often consume the better part of a year and that’s a long time for hurt feelings to fester without some fireworks when you least expect them. Your feelings might get hurt as well if you do not understand what is happening to your sister.

For all your life, you two have been together, sharing adventures, secrets and laughs. She feels betrayed by your choice for a Maid of Honor and might show it by sulking silently or sniping at your seemingly endless planning sessions with your mother and friends. It would be a mistake to retaliate in kind and snipe back or cut her out of your celebration.

Friends come and go. Sisters are forever. Some TLC might soothe hurt feelings and avoid losing your sister’s companionship for years. Be the first to try to soothe hurt feelings and get your sister to understand that you really want and need her to be your ally in your wedding.

One important tactic to use is to enlist her help as an important part of your wedding planning team, like a wedding planner, of sorts. Ask her to take over chores that she would like to do. Make sure some of them are critical to your wedding plans. Your sister needs to feel like she is a special part of your wedding.

Include her in all your plans and ask her opinion. One thing to remember is that every single detail of your wedding is not critical to your marriage ceremony. If you put your sister in charge of specific aspects of your planning, let her plan it. If you hit a definite roadblock, talk it out privately and, together, reach a compromise. Don’t forget your mission is to bring your sister into your wedding and rebuild your relationship and not to have a struggle with minute details.

One big project that takes a lot of planning, checking and scheduling is the reception. With all the other details you, the bride-to-be, have to deal with, putting someone you trust, who knows your likes and dislikes, in charge of the reception would reduce your stress and give your sister a true sense of being an important part of your big day. Another benefit would be that, if your parents are paying for your wedding, she would already have real knowledge about their budget.

All your sister really wants is to keep you in her life and that includes the journey to your wedding ceremony. That journey is probably the most important event in your life up to now. She’s been there with you for most or all of your journey. Don’t let her go. Sisters are forever.

Candy

Informal weddings can use brightly colored candies to add a light touch. An inexpensive set of glass containers, such as giant goblets, bowls, or even wide-mouthed vases, transforms into a beautiful set of centerpieces when you fill them with attractive candies. Try chocolate, like M&Ms (you can get them custom colored and custom printed), or try something fruit flavored, like jelly beans. Traditional wedding Jordan almonds are a great choice, too. Buy them in bulk from a Middle Eastern food supplier, rather than from a wedding retailer, and you’ll save a lot of money. Top off your dishes with an attractive (organic) flower or two, and your guests can enjoy the look and the taste of your centerpieces.

Flowers

You can still have floral decorations on your reception tables, if you’re willing to go pro yourself. Try a bunch of inexpensive flowers, like Gerber daisies, and just place them in simple containers, like a glass pitcher. This is a casual look, but it’ll work for many weddings, and it won’t cost you all that much. For fancier weddings, make the centerpieces yourself by using high quality artificial flowers. A few hardy, exotic flowers can be placed in a simple vase and accented with candles, for a minimalist look. Just use two or three flowers per table, and fill the rest of the container with stones or glass beads.
Potted flowers are another inexpensive option. They can be purchased all over the place in the right season, and if you wait for a sale, you can pick them up very cheaply. Repot them in prettier containers, or cover/paint the existing pot to create a centerpiece that guests can take home to plant there.

Candles

You can’t go wrong with candles.  They lend an elegant touch in an inexpensive way.  You can pick up votives or the next size up plus the candle holders in the design of your choice at your local craft store.

Balloons

Floating balloon bouquets can be a great choice for an attractive table, too. There are all kinds of shapes, colors and styles, so it’s easy to match your wedding colors and themes. Stick with pearly pastels, or create more dramatic balloon bunches. Cut the ribbons in different lengths to create an attractive range of heights (rather than a bunch that says “circus” to most people.) This is an easy task to delegate. Add flowers, candy, or confetti, and have fun popping balloons later in the day or night. Try using candy or fruit instead of traditional weights, and your guests will be able to take home a snack after the reception, too.
Decorating your reception tables doesn’t have to cost a fortune.  All it requires is a little imagination, a willingness to shop for bargains, and some of your time to put to all together.

The perfect veil depends on the look you want and the type of dress you’ve chosen. The most common material is tulle, for instance, but many brides also choose satin, lace, silk gauze and other materials. Veils may be plain, embroidered, covered in rhinestones or beaded. They come in lengths from short blusher veils to full on cathedral length.

The first question is how much do you want to cover? Your dress will to some degree dictate veil length – after all, a short gown with a full length veil will look a little strange. But you still need to decide how short you want your veil, and whether you want it to cover your hair for the entire event. That dictates whether you choose a veil that’s supported by the hair or fastens under it. Ceremony-only veils tend to be longer, while those worn through the reception are usually on the shorter side. Some brides even bustle their train with their veil. Remember that your veil won’t appear in pictures after the ceremony if you decide to take it off for the reception. Many brides wait till after the first dance to remove theirs for this reason.

Elaborate veils should not be allowed to compete with the dress, so keep embellishments below the level of the gown decoration. If your whole dress is decorated, choose a simple veil instead. Keep the wedding veil to the same level of formality as the rest of the wedding, too. Beach weddings aren’t the place for a veil that hits the sand. Veils should complement the dress, not match it completely, which actually makes it easier to find the right one. You don’t have to worry about finding the exact match.

When it comes to price, complexity and materials will dictate what you pay. Bridal veils average about two hundred seventy-five dollars, but can run anywhere from twenty dollars up to over five hundred. Short, single layer veils with little detailing are on the cheap end of the range, while silk veils with beading, lace and other details are on the expensive end. The fancier the veil, the more you’ll pay, so don’t plan for a complicated one if you’re running your wedding on a budget. On the plus side, simple veils can often be made yourself, if you have a few basic sewing skills.

Just take the time to think about the ceremony and the overall feel of the wedding, and you’ll have no trouble choosing a veil. That’s all there is to it!

Rule 1 is to control as little as you have to. Lots of brides get caught up in the idea that they have to be in control of everything. But the less you actually have to be in charge of, the lower your stress level will be. Ask your wedding party what their favorite styles are, whether they have any concerns about modesty, and what their measurements are. Then, think about what you want out of your wedding.

If you just want the bridal party to look similar, choose a color and a rough style (such as skirt length and shape) and let the bridesmaids pick their own gown. That way, they control fit, dress type, and cost, and can keep all of them within their personal preferences. If you don’t want certain elements in your wedding, be sure to specify. This type of bridesmaid gown selection process is the easiest on everyone. Of course, it won’t work for every wedding – truly formal weddings may require all bridesmaids to match. In this case, try to reach a compromise that will work well on all your bridesmaids, without making anyone feel like “the ugly one” or exceeding the amount they can pay.

Take into consideration the body shapes of your bridesmaids.  If they all have similar figures, it’s much easier to find a style that flatters that figure.  If you have an assortment of body shapes, which is probably likely, pick the style that looks the best on most of them while not looking a complete disaster on the others.

Remember that formal weddings call for longer gowns, and that you’ll want to stick to a relatively limited color palette. The bridesmaids should look good, but they should also blend in and not take attention away from you. After all, it’s your big day to shine. Get everyone fitted wearing the correct shoes and undergarments, and remind your bridesmaids not to lose a lot of weight right before the wedding. Otherwise, their dresses might not fit. At minimum, the bridesmaids shouldn’t make any major physical changes after the last fitting.

Shop around for the best prices on gowns for your bridesmaids, too. Whether they’re buying them for themselves, or you’re helping with the cost, no one wants to pay more than they have to. Discount shops and online retailers can often offer a good price. Just remember that a gown needs to be available in a wide range of sizes – the last one on the rack isn’t an option when you’re dressing several people. Take the time to think about what works best on your bridesmaids.  Remember that you don’t have to be a micromanager, and you’ll have no problem getting a great looking wedding party without much stress.

If you’re going to be having a very small reception and have a minimal budget, simple CD compilations and a good quality stereo can do the trick. Make sure you know how to operate all the equipment and that everyone knows your reception will be a casual affair, not a fancy one with a live band. This can be loads of fun! Assign someone reliable to be in charge of the music so you don’t have it. Don’t skimp on the quality of your speakers or your music, but don’t get too caught up in the need to provide expensive entertainment. After all, it’s all about the wedding in the end.

Another slightly more expensive option that’ll allow your guests to participate in the fun is to rent a karaoke machine. This isn’t for formal weddings, of course, but it’s great for a casual family and friends type of event. Bring a wide variety of different music options, and make sure that the machine won’t be too loud or too quiet for your space. Put plenty of romantic music on the machine, and enjoy yourselves!

If your guests don’t like getting up on stage, and you have the space, a live band or DJ is another option. Take the time to find out who’s got the best reputation, choose the genre carefully, and find out what equipment you’ll need to provide. Don’t cut corners on the choice of band or DJ, as the music can end up sounding tinny or low quality. However, choosing local artists can still get you a relatively low cost event.

Willing to spend more? You can go all out at the top end, and even hire minor celebrities to appear at your wedding reception. Most wedding budgets won’t permit anyone incredibly famous, but small niche bands and speakers can often be convinced to attend for less than you’d expect. Remember once again to ask about all terms and conditions, including what you’ll need to provide. This is the most fun if you’re having a larger wedding reception. Remember to keep it appropriate to the guests that you’ll be inviting, and make sure you and your fiance agree on what kind of entertainment you’d like to have.

There are all kinds of options available for the entertainment at your wedding reception. You just have to know what to expect and what you can get for a given budget. Take the time to learn what you need and what your options are, and you’ll have a great wedding reception!

Those emotional hurdles include releasing the responsibility you’ve had for her life and feeling displaced because of it. Both of you, her parents, might have some fear mixed in there when you realize that someone else will be taking your daughter’s attention away from her family and seeing to her safety and comfort.

The solution is to build a good, stable relationship with your son-in-law and quickly make him a true member of your family. Make plans to spend time with him alone. Find a common interest you both have and find ways for the two of you to share that interest and become friends.

Look for what your daughter sees in him, all the good things that made her fall in love with him. Do not expect him to be the same man you are. You are her father and he is her husband. Don’t make the mistake of treating him like one of your children. He is a married man with opinions, goals and experiences you don’t have.

If you’re the mother-in-law, you might be worrying that your special relationship with your daughter will be dissolved. At the same time, your daughter’s new mother-in-law will be worrying that your daughter won’t take care of her son the way she did for all of his life. Both mothers might be tied up with real memories of their child as they grew up. Loss and insecurity will be on your minds constantly until you both learn to appreciate the new spouse in your lives.

Don’t treat your son-in-law like one of your children. When he married your daughter, he changed her relationship with you. They both are adults and totally involved with starting their life the way they want to live it. Think back to when you got married and remember that you had the same concerns and involvement in starting your married life the way you wanted to live it.

One way to ease the transition in your family picture is to be friendly with your son-in-law’s parents. Invite them to dinner once in a while or to a family picnic or barbecue. Include them in birthday parties and holiday festivities. Accept return invitations from them. All of you are interested in their welfare and all of you are feeling the same fears and uncertainties. Sharing insights and childhood memories of each of your children with each other will bridge any gap that might have existed between your two families.

If you are the new son-in-law, you should be aware that your father-in-law needs to know that you are going to take care of his daughter and will treat her with true love and respect. Get to know your in-laws as real people in your new family. Respect their differences and concerns. Ask for their advice when you need it and follow it. Don’t let disagreements fester until they become a problem to your marriage.

Both of the newlyweds need to spend time with their own parents and siblings. That doesn’t mean that all free time and weekends need to be spent with your family. You need to build a life with each other. For example, don’t just quit doing something you always shared with your father or mother. It might be a good idea to plan one weekend a month for family traditions. One day could be spent alone with each set of parents and the other day might be spent with both sets of parents together, like at dinner at your house.

To start with, your family relationships will be tentative as each side tests the boundaries and changes. It’s normal and will ease as all of you get used to each other.

There was a time when the family of the couple would chip in and help with the finance of a wedding. This gesture is proving to be a thing of the past as more couples are finding themselves footing the bill. If you are one of those couples who are making your wedding happen with the savings you both have combined, it would be wise to keep within your budget and not be tempted to apply for a loan from a financial institution. The last thing you both need is to start your lives together with an outstanding debt. Make do with the money that you currently have and cut down in areas that are not necessary.

Wedding consultants will tell you that most couples refuse to compromise their guest list. If you want to keep the size of your guest list, then you can cut down on the cost for decorations, cost of venue etc.

Here are other ways in which you can save money and keep within your budget:

1.    Plan your wedding way in advance so that you have enough time to shop around for great bargains on your wedding attire, party favors, etc.  Having a huge window of time allows you to find bargains rather than taking/buying/using the first thing that comes along in desperation.

2.    The wedding reception area could be another huge wedding expense but it does not have to be. Think about places that you can either have your reception for free or for a low cost. The church in which you worship may have a reception area that you can use free or charge. Other money-saving reception locations include a social room at a hotel, a restaurant, or even at the home of a friend who has a large house.

3.    No one says that your wedding ring has to be a major expense. You can say “I love you” just as well with wedding bands.  Have something special inscribed inside the bands.  The diamonds can always come later, like on your first wedding anniversary as you celebrate your marriage and the fact that you didn’t go into debt when you had your wedding.

4.    Add your personal touch to some of the wedding necessities with do-it-yourself projects. If you can bake a cake, make decorations or have incredible graphic artist skills to make your invitations, by all means do that.  Perhaps you have a skilled friend you could barter with.  She bakes your wedding cake in exchange for you babysitting her kids while she and her husband get away for a weekend.

There are many ways to have a beautiful wedding on a budget.  The trick is to get started early and be open to cost-conscious ideas.

Prehistoric tribes were nomadic and mostly banded together for protection from animal predators. Groups were better than individuals at finding water, hunting and protecting their territory from marauding rivals. Loyalty to the tribe was more important to their existence than individual alliances and group weddings are now believed to be the beginnings of the extravaganzas of today.

As ancient civilizations changed, nomadic tribes settled down and formed agricultural societies that spawned trading with their neighboring societies.
Along with that change, the ancient Egyptians became the first civilization to recognize the idea of marriage as a legal entity. They also invented the engagement so the couples could get to know each other better and would be able to determine whether or not they would be compatible as a married couple.

The dowry and the marriage contract were also Egyptian inventions, along with a sumptuous feast and hours of singing and dancing during and after the actual wedding. When the newly married couple left the joyful festivities, the crowd threw fresh wheat into the air to symbolize their fertility.

While the Egyptians invented the engagement period, the ancient Romans were responsible for the giving of an engagement ring, who believed that a round ring signified eternity. Wedding rings were believed to create a strong marriage that would last forever. The ring or rings were worn on the ring finger of the left hand because the belief of the day was that a love vein stretched from that finger directly to the heart.

During medieval times marriages were arranged by families with an eye on the possible financial benefits of a “good” marriage. Love had very little or nothing to do with medieval marriages. Property rights and political alliances were the motivating factors behind the marriages between children of land owners. Those without property or wealth could usually marry as they pleased.
St. Paul is credited with changing marriage from a contractual agreement between families to a sacrament of his church. In 866, Pope Nicholas I issued a declaration that marriage was binding if the couple gave their consent and no further ceremonies were necessary.

Some historians believe that early Christians believed that marriage was a holy sacrament, but it didn’t become official until the 12th century. Romance didn’t enter the marriage process until 300 years later when the troubadours promoted it in verse and song.

In the late 1500s, the Council of Trent issued a decree that marriages had to be conducted by a priest and at least two witnesses. At that time marriage became a sacrament meant to save couples from sin and to further reproduction. Love wasn’t part of marriage at this time either.

Today, marriage is the official bond between two people who love each other and are committed to the responsibilities of raising a family. If you look at the history presented above, you can still see the fragments of hundreds of years of ancient belief still active.

Don’t Be A Perfectionist

Everybody wants their wedding to be the perfect day, with everything in the right order. The fact of the matter is that nothing is ever absolutely perfect. Brides who want to micromanage everything into their dream wedding are almost certain to be disappointed. Give up on the idea of perfection now. Instead, focus on having a happy and enjoyable wedding day. It doesn’t have to look like it came out of a bridal magazine to be a rewarding experience.  Not only do you want to have a good time, you want to remember through your married life what a good time your wedding was.

Be Willing To Delegate

Related to perfectionism is the desire to do everything yourself. This one is sure to lead to disappointment and a nervous breakdown. If you’re having anything resembling a conventional ceremony with both families attending and a reception afterward, you’re going to have a lot to juggle. Be willing to delegate some of your responsibilities to trusted friends and relatives and you’ll have a much easier time getting the wedding together. It’s okay to let go – your best friend can probably handle the catering reservations without you looking over her shoulder.

Choose Your Battles

A lot of brides are going to have to deal with family interference when it comes to their weddings. It’s important to remember that this is your big day, and not let your mother, aunt, grandmother, or mother-in-law steamroll your wedding. However, to reduce stress, it’s also a good idea to pick your battles. Let some of the small stuff slide if you’ve got a pushy relative. That peace offering could be what it takes to help you reduce the stress that comes with planning your wedding.  And know that letting that pushy relative handle that small detail will make them very happy.

Stay Organized

Last, but possibly most important, is organization. The less together you have things, the higher your stress level is going to be. Choose a wedding size and scale that you’re going to be able to handle and stay on top of it. Then you’ll know what’s happening and who’s doing what at any time. That’ll help you reduce your stress level and have a great wedding.
]]> http://www.wedding-secrets.com/beating-pre-wedding-stress.html/feed 0